


Closing the Barn Door

by Jedi Buttercup (jedibuttercup)



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Escape Plan (2013)
Genre: Crossover, Episode: s05e15 A Hole In The World, Gen, Post-Series, Wordcount: 500-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 21:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15542298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedibuttercup/pseuds/Jedi%20Buttercup
Summary: "Well," Ray Breslin said, standing on a bridge inside a cave behind a tree in the Cotswolds. "That's... certainly a thing."





	Closing the Barn Door

**Author's Note:**

> It's August again: time for random Buffyverse crossovers. I'm not terribly likely to keep up this year, but I had a random Idea while watching a fun action movie, and you know I like to seize a wild motivation when it appears. :) References the Drogyn episodes of Season 5 of Angel.

"Well," Ray Breslin said, standing on a bridge inside a cave behind a tree in the Cotswolds. "That's... certainly a thing."

He'd wondered, when they'd said his usual infiltration methods wouldn't work for this contract, but the sight below him more than explained that stipulation. Endless ranks of sarcophagi lined a tunnel carved straight down into-- and if he believed the guys who'd hired him, _all the way through_ \-- the Earth. He didn't, really; curved along the bottom of the crust and then up again under some spit of land half a world away, _maybe_ , but piercing right through the mantle and the iron-nickel core? Magic or no magic, that stretched credulity too far.

"And you say they're all... potential escapees?" he added, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

The brunet with the eyepatch who'd escorted him inside nodded seriously. "The last guy who was warden here, he said that a lot of the really ancient demons can't really die; they were sort of driven into comas, and then buried here to keep them quiet."

Presuming that was true.... "Like a bunch of sensory deprivation chambers. With no need for life support," Ray realized with a shudder.

He was sort of new to the concept of demons, but no matter how evil they were supposed to be, that seemed a little much. It reminded him of the spiel behind the supposedly inescapable privately-run prison known as the Tomb: 'an alternate situation for incarcerating the sort of people who commit acts so despicable they're best disappeared.' Having been sent to the Tomb himself for spurious reasons, that gnawed at him a little. But he wasn't the subject matter expert here; he'd been contracted to judge the Deeper Well's security, not its prisoners.

"I guess you could put it that way," Xander Harris shrugged. "Most of them aren't really aware, though. Not unless they still have worshipers out there feeding them energy. That's how the one that got out a few years ago escaped, we're pretty sure. Some kind of ritual reached in and plucked the coffin right out. Then Angel-- the guy that used to run Wolfram and Hart, don't ask what lawyers had to do with it, trust me-- ended up here trying to find out how, and took out most of the guards trying to get in. That left just the Warden, some immortal guy named Drogyn, and he got killed a few months later. We found out about the whole thing after we helped clean up that mess in Los Angeles. And, well... they might be sleeping now, but we didn't exactly feel comfortable just leaving them here unguarded."

Ray had been on the periphery of 'that mess in Los Angeles', in the city on a job; that was how they'd known to contact him, because he was already at least partially read in on the secret. He kind of wished the violence he'd seen that day had been all of it, though; that was already more than enough to upset his world, and he was a little old to be starting over yet again. He took a deep breath and let his tactical mind go to work.

"I don't know much about magic," he began, "but I do know prisons; they're what I do. And successful prison escapes require three things. Knowledge of the layout, understanding the routine, and help from outside or in. The way these things are kept, you've already shut off the first two; assuming the boxes can really keep them in, the prisoners can't get at either one. Inside help isn't an issue at the moment either; you don't even have any guards, and again, they're all-- supposedly-- kept from even being aware who their bunkmates are, never mind communicating. But outside-- outside is a problem. From what you've said, the right outside help can bypass all the other issues and pluck a prisoner right out, like some Star Trek teleporter. So here's what you've got to do.

"I can't advise on the methods-- but you're gonna need some kind of magic shielding to block the teleportation. At a minimum. I'd also recommend individual locks of some kind on these coffins, because just trusting to whatever's kept them there all this time seems a good way to make an ass out of you and me, if you know what I mean. Implement both magic _and_ conventional security both. Hell, do an inventory; I assume there's some type of intake record, so go through and clearly code all the coffins according to what's known about them, relative threat levels, and so on. If a game-changer _does_ get loose, you'll need to know what to look for. Alarm spells and cameras working in tandem; catwalks or elevators or something, so whatever guards you hire can actually do a Mark One eyeball check on some kind of rotating schedule, make sure all the safeties haven't been bypassed when you weren't looking. If having worshipers out there makes these things stronger-- have someone crawling the Dark Web, looking for signs on which ones to worry about."

He paused to take a breath, and Harris snorted. "Is _that_ all. Man, and here I thought this was going to be difficult."

"You joke. But I'm just getting started. What, do logic and magic not mix well in your world?" Surely they'd had to deal with this sort of thing before? The idea that there might be _more_ dangerous situations like this out there, lying around undealt with....

Harris gave him a long, one-eyed look at that, the kind of knowing stare that spoke of long experience. "As a good friend once said to me? Your logic does not resemble our earth logic."

"...And you replied?" Ray had to ask.

Xander chuckled. "Mine is much more advanced. Not that she wasn't right at the time, but the point stands. You'll see, if you stick around us very long."

Ray shook his head. "No offense? But I kind of hope I don't."


End file.
